did I tell you how much I admire you?  I amso proud of you and what great things you do.  All of those around you are so lucky to have you.

tons of love

hugs

c.

congrats about you're job! i'm so happy for you. =]

the bra is cute. :-P hope you have fun camping.                                lots of luck at your new job.

<3adri

I love camping.  Free entertainment.  We have a tent so we just pack up an go.  Totally free other than food.

Glad to hear about the job. 

so glad everything is working out for you now. also really happy for you about casey- he seems like a wonderful guy. momo's uncle deserves to be in jail and finally getting punished for his sick deeds. good luck.

<3adri

You are such an amazing young woman!!!  I admire you alot.  Case is an amazing guy as well.  I am so frekkin proud of you.  I know that your ¨kids¨  are so damn lucky  to have you in their life .

About Momo´s uncle I hope he rots in hell and  he gets raped there for being a filthy sick perv.!!!

tight hugs

good luck hun!!!

hugs

Enjoy your weekend hun!!!

hugs

For your last entry - I did PCP once by accident, it was in one of my e pills. It made me hallucinate in a very strange way - not like mushrooms because the walls didn't glow or move or anything. It's just, I looked at things and thought they were other things. I saw a garbage can and thought it was a group of kids playing hacky sack, I saw a tree and thought it looked like Babar, stuff like that. It was never anything that would make me want to beat up some random kid but maybe the other kid had a lot of PCP, or something. I don't know enough about it.

Have an awesome weekend! You guys are going to have a great time together ;)

That is amazing!!! great news hun , now pls be more careful.  As always I am so proud of you.

hugs

Yayyy! This is really, really good news! I'm glad you're not pregnant, the last thing MDD needs is another young preggers diary.

Oh wii! My bro has one, he just got the Mario Kart game with the wheel, it's f***ing awesome. Everyone wants a wii!

I hope you're not preggers but there's onl one way to tell, right? Don't worry, I screwed up my pill a lot and I've never been pregnant ... yet.

It's really important for kids to know how to swim, it's good that you're teaching them, it might save their lives.

And don't feel fat! You're not!

hey girly

I dont think you are pregnant, however take the test it will show if you are.

take care

I am worried about you being pregnant, why dont you take a home test.  When is your period supposed to come or are you already late?  I dont want to sound mean but I do hope you are not because it will most def complicate things and you wont be able to cope with it all.  You are endlessly working, taking care of the kids doing  house chores, as it is now it is still too much for you now imagine pregnancy while you do all of this, your health would be an issue.  I dont think you are because you had pneumonia and you took antibiotics and if you were preggers most likely you would have had a miscarriage due to the fever and then the drugs to heal.  But pls take the test and lets see and then we see what happens.  I hope that momo isnt pregnant either.

tight hugs

...hugs...

let me digest all that Ive read here and then I will try to write a useful comment

Good luck...I hope the best for you and Casey! Hope you aren't preggy

Hey again!

See you soon!

Maybe you might feel  like maybe you shouldnt say anyhting but trust me hun it is better to control him more...he might be a great kid but maybe some of the others arent you cant risk it of  him to try drugs and  get the habit he might not be as lucky as you think about that  he shouldnt be drinking period.  I am sorry if my advice is not what you expected but hun  you  need him to be sober in every way because YOU  stomach most of the responsabilities and who knows what might happen to him one of these nights when he gets drunk, think about it, he might get beaten up , hit by a car... molested you know the world out there isnt pink there are alot of bad people out there.´

I am glad you are feeling better

hugs

and happy mothers day

Are you making weed ribs?!?! Jks jks whenever somebody says special ingredients it's usually weed that's all. Weed ribs though, that's a really good idea if you fried them up in weed butter. But I'm not even sure if you fry ribs ...

I'm glad you're feeling better! I hope you'll be 100% soon.

I am sooo hppy you are feeling better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

take care sweetie

tons of love

Yay I am so glad you are a bit better!!!

Yes health care is really expensive

I am sure you will get up to date with school work  and I am sure your work will be ok

take care , rest

tight hugs

[ladyofthelake]

omg go to the hospital

you need rest and antibiotics

I hope you get better soon

and NO you are NOT going to die.

tons of love

Let me tell you something hun.  If they are not there for you when you really need them then you dont need them after...I know it hurts but look at it this way, you are busting your butt trying to better your life and your little one ´s lives ... tomorrow  you will be on top of the world  having worked like a slave but YOU will be someone and you will have a decent  good life while they will have achieved NOTHING!!!

Life is about choices, you are making tough but smart choices you are not a quitter or a loser you are a winner she isnt making the right choices you have tried to help her but the choice is hers.

You keep working hard and you will see how well that will pay off.  I am sure your future will be a bright one,

I am so frekkin proud of you.  I hope you get better soon

tight hugs

omg sweets

I hope you get better soon

you have to rest and take good care of yourself

hugs

Definately try to take it easy so you can get better sooner.  So sorry you got sick :(

~Tons of love

[imadreamer77]

Hehe those are sick shoes!

Awww it sounds like you guys had an awesome day. I'm glad! And it'll be awesome when he gets that apartment.

thankss so mcuh for your advicee!! what age did u lose yours at? if u don wanna say its cool haha

one day this will all be a sad memory and you will have an amazing life cuz you arent a quitter, you are as tough as titanium.  Hang in there hun

You have my complete admiration and respect

tight hugs

OH man I dunno how you can handle all this stuff! How long has it been like this? Can Casey help you look after the kids?

I think you're awesome for being so selfless!

Hey I'm glad you had a good 420!!

Man I can't believe you didn't get hungover or exhausted, but whatever your secret is, please please tell me! How long have you been going out with your bf?

I am glad you guys had fun.  I hope that Momo feels a bit better soon

hugs

Happy smoking!

[thatpotsmokinghippy]

ok this is what I thought about.  Go online and read about emancipated minors cuz technically you are still a minor.  You are graduating soon right??  that would be a plus to.  You work and you have been the one providing for the kids.  I am sure you can get a couple of witnesses on that  and a letter from the place where you work stating how good of a worker you are. 

Now this is the difficult part.  In order to make all of this work You, Momo and Casey have to stay sober and drug free.  Why because at any random given moment you might be pulled over to their office and get tested and if they find you under the influence of drugs and or alcohol you can pretty much say goodbye to the kids.  So you might as well start on that today.  It doesnt matter if somepne says you ahve done drugs all that matters is that if they test you they find you clean!  All three of you!!!!!  Now you are partners and what one does affects the others.

Try to get an appointment with a legal advisor, there must be lawyers that  work for people that cant afford them, their name escapes  me now.

About Momo...it is plain and simple.  Tell her that for now she needs to toughen up even if it sounds mean.  She needs to gather her strength in order for her to make that sick bastard pay and to protect her siblings.  Tell her that she is stronger than she thinks and that if she loves her siblings she needs to get  back up on her feet.  tell her that you understand it was a huge nasty blow but she cant allow that to take her down.

It is plain and simple Sage call the cops on that sick bastard!!!!!!!!  If she doesnt do that who knows  what else he can do to her and her younger siblings.  Men that do that are sick!  Do not wait until he hurts her really bad or until he does it to the kids, who knows maybe he has done something to them and out of fear and shame they havent said anything to her-

I feel so bad for her but she has you.  Do what needs to be done hun dont let him get away with it call  child services, the cops...ASAP

I think you were right, call CFS or DHS.  These kids need help and he needs to be brought to justice.  My heart goes ou to your frien, you too.  She is so lucky to have you.  Everyone is.  Girl, you have been put in this position for a reason.  You may be the only savoir these people see.  I don't mean to say that to stress you out. 

I don't mean to pry or be gruesome but she really needs to get an exam soon if there is a possibility of any evidence left behind.  I know an exam is the last thin she wants tho. 

CALL someone, anyone.  You must.  Please let me know how this goes. 

I think that you should tell him how you feel and what you want.  Sit down with him  both of you sober clear headed.

Tell him that he is important  to you, that you are blessed in having him in your life.  that you have taken the decision to stop doing coke and that you would like him to be there for you.  Tell him that it would make you extremely happy if he chose to stop  doing it at this time when you are deciding to stop but that you understand it is his decision and you dont want to force him or push him into quitting if that isnt what he wants.  that  it would be great if you could do it together making it part of a new time in your lives.

something along those lines the key is trying to make him feel at ease and not making him feel like you are giving him no choice.  I hope he stops

take care hun

tight hugs

I think you do love him , but you are afraid of loving him and it is understandable...careful hun , you are comparing them...that may bring difficulties.  Casey and you need to stop doing coke...I know that you will do it when you are good and ready which I know will be soon, but in order for things to work he needs to  stop as well.

tight hugs

be careful

hugs

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this, especially when you clearly don't deserve it. If your parents can't see what a lovely person you are, everybody else can.

hugs

well you have us  even if it is isnt that important

[ladyofthelake]

You just dont stop do you hun.  you are a busy little ant!!!  girl you need to rest some before you burn out.  I am glad that you found a place for Casey.  I hope that his job goes well and he did have a good idea of you moving in with him but I know it is just too soon, I know that eventually that will be the way to go.  you are a great sister!!

hugs

take care

muh love

what an aweful lady!!  I am so sorry hun but what she did was just so low and nasty.  She robbed him!!! and she felt no remorse whatsoever.  I hope he finds a place to stay soon.  Good luck hun

hugs

I am glad you are not in that bathroom.  He shouldnt do it either but I wont critize you guys.  Have a  great weekend

hugs

Oh i c. well i wouldnt worry hun u will be fine living with Case he seems like a good guy the only thing u need to remember is to sit down and talk when sumthings wrong not yell or storm out k?

And im sure u will get custody of the kids, ur battling against a struggling alcaholic and they sound like they love u 2 bits and u them.

Good luck :)

Jayney x0x

Wow hectic schedule.  You can do it Sage I know you can!!!

the kids will understand and case will love you even more and admire you a gzillion times more!!!

hugs

have a great day

much love

I am so happy for you hun.  I  wont stop saying how proud I am  of you.  You are an amazing  strong , caring and responsable woman.  I am sure that your siblings will be amazing  adults just because of you and your hard  work and care.  Casey seems like he really adores you and the kids and that is great and so difficult to find nowadays

tight hugs

much love

Thats awesome!! congratulations on the job!!!  Im pleasd Casey is so good to u u 2 seem like a perfect couple :)

Im sure u will work everything out like u said and when u do decide 2 move in with Casey ull luv it trust me I love living wit my BF.

Hav a gud 1 :)

Jayney x0x

 I hope your dad stays like that for a longgggg time.  I hope you get the job. About the scratching talk to the councelor.

hugs

I hope you get better soon

much love

I know what you mean about being stuck inside! It's so terrible to look out the window and see the sun shining and the snow melting and you can't be a part of it ... we've constructed such an unnatural life for ourselves!

Good luck with the job, and really hope that your father takes what you said to heart and gets better ...

get well soon!!!

hugs

Feel better.

Sorry I have neglected commenting :)

Hope u got all ur jobs done hun.  Hope u get rid of that cold soon!!

Case seems like a good guy 4 u :)  Hav a good 1

Jayney x0x

Aw..thankyou ,your so sweet.
sounds you had a busy and tired day ..
try to relax (: and hope its ends perfectly for you.<3

wow that really means a lot

i will keep that in mind :)

xxxxxxxxx

I hope you get better soon.  It seems like a lot of work to do hun.  Take care

mucho love

hi

you wrote about my entry and ive just gotta say cool if you wanna talk about sex at and time just holla at me

love

Brookkexxxxxxxxxxxxx

this sounded fun

hugs!!!

Sage

the more I read your entries the more proud of you I get.  I know hun that you will stop when you are good and ready and to be honest with you I have a hunch that you will be at that point sooner than you think.  You are so strong and have such a huge heart.  All of the people in your life are lucky to have you.  I wish that you  could get the proper support you need.  Take care hun

tight hugs

That lady sounded like a guardian angel.  I hope you can make it last until monday.

Thank you for your comment about my pic, you are so sweet.

Good luck on your treasure digging tonight

tight hugs

c.

aww, that really stinks

petey is a beagle mix (we saved him from a shelter) so we don't know what he's mixed with

he's only about up to my knee! lol!!

a time capsule sounds like fun.... i'll try it.

<3adri

U did so well ae I wouldn't hav known what 2 do in that situation.

I really admire and respect you for how u look after those kids too and what kind of dog hav u got he/she obviously WAS trained well if he/she bit that drunk c**t hahaha sexy time is all good o the floor lol ;)

Lol hope 2 here from u soon

Jayney

I am sure it would be difficult but so far you have been taking care of them and their parents arent there for them like they should so basically they have YOU.  I admire you hun for the care you give them and the way you love them.  I am sure that the oldest would be asked with whom they like to live.  But  we have time enough to plan for that if that is what you want in a future.

you are one busy bee

hugs

You are soo strong.  I super admire that in you hun.  Case is a sweetheart.  I hope that you could get the kids and move on your own.

Take care hun

tight hugs

c.

well maybe he took them or maybe she rank them and doesnt remember

hugs

Well done on the weight loss  Ive lost abit more 2.

U sound like ur really good with those kids haha when u said what they did it reminded me of the tv show "malcolm in the middle" have u seen it? the kids on it r lil sh*ts lol. Don't worry about them too much when theyr with their mum. u gave them ur numba and money to call u i think thats about all u can do. 

Jayney

Yeah weed can get mouldy if it's in unfavourable conditions or if you keep it too long, it's just like any other plant (except special!). If you've got a lot that you won't smoke for a long time then you should keep it in the fridge. But yeah, if you see it turning white and it's NOT crystals then it might be mould, so be careful.

http://www.uk420.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=12982&st=0&start=0

hugs you tightly!!

I am here for you no matter what

take care sweets I know you can do it

c.

I know you will get angry at me for saying this but I care about you.  Hun the drugs have got to stop.  you think that you are in control but you are not.  What would happen to the little ones if something happened to you.  I am sorry but hun you are amazing and sooner or later drugs will mess you up for good.

take care

hugs

could hav been a few things ae like had u eatn much b4 u had the blaize and how  much did u smke lol wer u drinkn?

ah wat else could it b um could hav jus been da atmosphere i had a real bad trip onnce havn a sesh in my mates old garage but think it may hav jus been bcuz it was so small and i didnt know them very well then And we had like 5 massiv cones between rha 3 of us lol

11 is so smart.  You are such a good sister!

[thatpotsmokinghippy]

the last one is a really smart move

hugs

I know its the same thing everyone else tells you but, dont take drugs or you're screwed. Its as simple as that. Good luck with the quits

Rach x

idk what to say really

ll I can say it is that you should be careful

hugs

I am so excited for you!

[thatpotsmokinghippy]

My dad used to never let me sleep either, he was loud, drunk, and either blasting his music or screaming at my mother at all hours.  Probably why I have so many sleep issues today.  But anyway, have fun on your trip and don't get into too much trouble! :D

~Tons of love

[imadreamer77]

Hun my advice to you is simple, I know you probably wont like it.  Do not go to that house again.  Take a step back from Casey.  Do not call him or visit him or acknowledge him for a couple of days to see if he goes after you then if he doesnt you know where you stand.  I am so so sorry about your dad and what you have to deal with.  Do not give up you are strong and you will be someone in life and you will set an example to the children.  I know you are young but once again you are strong.  drugs arent the way out so do not go back that road

tight hugs

much love

c.

wow

I am glad that  they talked and things were decided.  It is sad that she doesnt have anyone to take care of her but a baby at 16 is very difficult.

hugs

Man I wish I could help.  I've been there.  Potatoes are a miracle food.  SO cheap and they fill that hollow spot.  What about the school's free lunch program?  How old are they?  At least they have you.

You gotta do what is best for yourself, family included of course.  Get an education so you can get a good job.  I'm sure you've seen it, you can't get by on minunum wage.  

Case is probably freaking out at the possibilities.  Men (well all of us do) take things out in the wrong way to the wrong people.  Sounds like he is scared.  I would be too i guess. 

I don't know where this comment is going.   So I'll go. I hope things get better, I'm sure they will.

well, ive like anthony for 2 summers in a row, and ive never gotten to talk to him. from what i know, hes pretty laid back, so idk how i should be: laid back like him, or crazy and wild, because i'm both of those

and when it comes to looks, im very confused on that too.

<3 michelle

ur right....it couldve been waaaaaaay worse

woooooooow u have a handful.

if i could give any advice i would say that u should deal with Case first tell him the news first and work ur way from there. but u should definitely tell Maynan wat happened eventually

good luck, god bless....u will need it...lol

luck luck and more luck

Keep me updated.

By the way, my luck isn't worth sh*t.

Sorry.

I am reminded of a saying, if ya got to lie about it, it probably isn't right.

I think you should tell your best friend everything.  Then tell her that you are going to tell Case if she does not tell him the truth.  He deserves to know.  If it is his, he deserves to have a say in the decision.  Good luck this is tricky.

Oh hun this is all f***ed up.  However there is just one thing you can do and it will probably end up hurting you.  You need to tell them both, tell her that Case and you are a couple and tell Case that she is preggers